Many of us get stressed on a daily basis. We work long hours, our pay isn't enough, and the kids keep calling our name. I told the supervisors at my job that I plan to take a personal day. Then i realized that even if I put work on the side for 24 hours, I will still find something else to take its place. Stress does kill and stress can affect your love. First of all, get your mind out of the gutter for a minute and focus on other areas of your life.
Stress affects your love in that it affects your ability to think clearly and be proactive. When you are stressed, you may tend to react to every thing and not allow yourself time to sit quietly, weigh your options, and then respond. Your impulsiveness increases and your ability to function "normally" decreases. It's like a fight or flight kind of mode. For example, Jerry works a really tough job. He often comes home tired and frustrated that his boss gives everyone praise and raises, except for him. This only adds to his stress level. Jerry is married to Tasha and they have 3 kids. Tasha is a receptionist at a local law firm and occasionally has to stay past 5:00 pm to prep for the next morning's meetings. Needless to say the two are stressed.
Jerry Jr. came home with his 1st F on his report card. Tasha's response was to yell at him. Which leads to Jerry wanting to spank and yell at him even more. Naturally this makes Jerry Jr. feel bad and affects his self-esteem which he internalizes and begins to act aggressively and on impulse. The stress that affected mom and dad are now affecting the children. Stress affects your love. When we are stressed about one thing, we can inadvertently become stressed about something else.
So how do we break the stress cycle and stop stress from affecting our love? Truth is, stress is going to happen. We are human. The key is to work at being aware of your stress, triggers, and warning signs. Be aware of the things or people that push your buttons and let the ones you love know about your stress and triggers. It is not so that they will know what buttons to push, but so they can hold you accountable when you start to act out of stress and not out of love.
Never be ashamed to ask for forgiveness when you act out of stress. Always be willing to humble yourself and learn from your mistakes. Wisdom comes by hearing, adhering, and doing. Jerry could have stopped Tasha from yelling at Jerry Jr., if we knew her warning signs. Likewise, Tasha could have corrected herself and prevented the argument by taking a breather, listening to Jerry Jr.'s explanation, and working together as a family to help Jerry Jr improve his grades, thus boosting his self-confidence.
It is amazing how 1 shift in the story can change the ending. Take time to reflect on the times you have lashed out at others. Look for key themes to help you identify triggers, warning signs, and ways to be proactive in the future. Stress affects our ability to reason logically, love, and forgive. Take back your life. Don't let stress affect your love.