Have you ever wondered why things happen to you? How you can go from having a wonderful day to a "ugh" kind of day with the blink of an eye? Well, that's how I feel. Please do not compare my suffering to yours. I know far worse things could happen in this lifetime. My struggle is my own and right now this chip is important to me.
Fellas, I pray you will read this and think twice about how you treat your wife or girlfriend (not an and/or situation). Women are not toys that you play with for a short time and then toss back in the closet. We require love, patience, and affection. As much as we like to think this, we cannot read minds. I don't know that you are tired unless you tell me. You won't know that I am not feeling well unless I say something.
My feelings are just as important as yours. We got in the marriage together and we are going to work it together. The very moment that your spouse starts itching to hang out in the grass on the other side, is the very moment you've realized that damage has already been down. As much as I do not care for R Kelly's music, I must admit that 'when a woman is fed up, there ain't nothin' you can do about it". I mean really.
Marriage is a equal partnership. Yes one species is biblically more dominant that the other. That doesn't mean that you can treat the less dominant species with disrespect and a complete disregard for their feelings. Conflicts arise when people are not getting their needs met. Have you met your spouse's needs lately? This is more than a physical fulfillment. Rather it is the emotional needs that often go un-vocalized and unmet.
My point in all of this is for you to take a step back and look at the darker side of your marriage. What are the problem areas and how can you and your partner work together to fix them? If you can't see the problem, you are probably the problem. I'm sure your spouse can find at least 5 things that irritate them. Is it possible to rectify this situation? Absolutely. How?
1) Go to God in prayer.
2) make a true commitment to open your heart to communicate with your spouse.
3) be willing to enhance/improve/change/re-do/undo/relearn, etc.
4) believe in yourself and your spouse's ability to empathize and change
5) let go of the perfect marriage (acceptance is not settling)
6) call me for a relationship coaching session (see coaching page)
All in all, the behaviors of your youth cannot carry you into adulthood and help you maintain a lasting relationship. Eventually you have to let go of the fantasy of the perfect marriage and perfect spouse. We all have things we can stand to change about ourselves, if it means improving our quality of life.
If you know someone who still acts like a 15 year old and is well past 25 years old, sit them down and pass on your wisdom. Marriage is not designed to be a parallel lifestyle. I'm done.