Side chicks are women who date married men. They remain in the back background and are often hidden from the man's regular life. A woman can remain a side chick for days, months, or years. It all depends on 3 factors.
3) Abandonment issues
If a woman values herself and her goods, she is less likely to allow a man to manipulate her mind, body, and spirit into thinking he is going to leave his wife or girlfriend for her. Let's be honest. How many side chicks do you know walk around like they got it going on, but are torn up inside because they are unhappy with living in the carpool lane? My guess is, they don't tell you how they truly feel. Instead they stay on the defense and always complaining about something. This is because their values are all messed up. When the priority list of your value system gets out of wack and you start allowing others to dictate your emotions/life, you stop focusing on what is important to you and start living for someone else.
A side-chick lifestyle is one filled with deception, secrecy, emotional turmoil, lust, and confusion. Why? A side chick can't go around town boasting about who she's dating or be seen in public with her "boyfriend". No, things are done behind closed doors, in the dark, out of town, and under an alias. Living life in the shadows is not how God intended for us to live. And the premise that he is going to leave his wife for a side chick is bananas. Sure, it may happen from time to time, but how many nights will she spend wondering whether or not he has a new chick. Too much anxiety and fear to deal with.
The 2nd driving force is money. Broke dudes have side chicks too, so don't get it twisted. More than likely it is the men with money that have side chicks. Why? Because he has to be able to keep up the house and take care of the side piece too. That takes money. A household with an air-tight budget in which both spouses are aware of financial transactions at all times, is least likely to have $ being spent on a side chick. What about the dudes w/ no money? They may be giving few resources, but they make up for in emotional connections, additional lies, and even more heartache. The scales have to be balanced somehow. Money is the true factor because it dictates how long a woman is willing to degrade herself and live as a side chick. What some will do for the almighty dollar.
Finally, there are abandonment issues. The premise of I won't get too attached or I'll hurt him before he hurts me stands strong to this day. Side chicks are emotional invested in the "relationship", but are often unaware of how their past relationships have impacted their current ones. A woman scorned by her father, brother, family, or exes is bound to live a longer period of time as a side chick. Why? Because she is looking for someone to give her what she missed, but wants it at a distance. A side chick looks for love, but fails to respect boundaries. She's selfish. The excuse of "he's not happy" or "she always complaining, that's not me" may be true, but how will the couple ever manage to fix their marriage if the side chick is always an option.
And she is just that, an option. An option to dismiss at any time and be left standing in the cold with more heartache and a few Coach bags. This is the dilemma in being a side chick. She is always on guard and desperately seeking to hold on to a lifestyle that will only lead to more emotional scars, ridicule, and depression. Why would you want to live like that? Don't be the side chick and stop trying to kick the wife out, so you can become the main chick. Work on you, not on a married man.