If you have heard any of these during a discussion with your partner, then you are more than likely dealing with a non-communicator.
Non-communicators do so by choice. They avoid hard hitting conversations and issues by shutting down. They retreat to the nearest exit and stay there until you either forget or give up. I have had my share of non-communicators and I have been a non-communicator. That's right, this pot can call the kettle black. It wasn't too long ago that I found myself doing these same things out of frustration and tiredness. It is a lot easier to stop talking about a subject than to face it head on. The only problem is that the more a non-communicator carries on, the more damage it can do to a relationship.
So, what do you do? If you are the non-communicator, you need to use your time wisely in figuring out why you do not want to talk to your partner. Is the issue to heavy for you? Are you afraid of your reaction? Are you afraid of their response? Is it bringing up old feelings and memories? Are you just a big baby and use to throwing temper tantrums to get your way? Does your style of communication involve wearing your partner down until they cave? More than likely one of these is true. You just have to admit it to yourself. That's when the real work can begin. (hold that thought)
If you are on the receiving end of the non-communication, then there are some things you need to ask yourself? At what point during the conversation did my partner shut down? Was I yelling, being condescending, demeaning, etc.? What was the conversation about? What is my reaction to them shutting down? How is all of this making me feel? How you are feeling and what you are observing during this time is very important. Often times our behaviors are predicated upon the actions of others. If you usual response is to run out the house or go bang on your partner's door, then chances are you have anger issues and are reacting to emotions rather than being proactive.
So what do I do now?
The easy thing is to go talk to your partner and ask them what is wrong. Chances are this will get you nowhere because the go to response will be "I don't know". I don't know is not a response it is a defense mechanism. It means I know, but I don't want to talk about it or I don't know because I refuse to search for the answer. Either way, avoid being direct (at least for the first few minutes).
Click here for some simple steps to get your non-communicator, communicating.