I can write this now (without tears) because the Holy Spirit is not allowing me to wallow around and neglect my responsibilities. He keeps pushing me to share and release some of the pressure that was building up with the fire got turned up. My release today was tears. Tomorrow it will be music. The next day it could be talking. Each day, I have to find an outlet to release the pressure. The Spirit gives me time to process and cope, but not enough time to forget whose I am.
I thank God for my faith and my babies. They keep me grounded and lifted. I thank God for my husband because in his own little way, he lets me know that it will be alright. This is my support system (or at least part of it). Let's call them my pot holders. They give me covering when I have to handle the hot water. Your support system or pot holders may be different from mine. That's fine. I recognize when "depression" is trying to turn up the heat and distract me from what God is giving me. I refuse to be misguided. I also know that many people aren't able to process their depression and struggle to come out of the fire. I do my best to contain my boiling water and not let it spill over into anyone else's pot.
In my pain, I encourage you to seek help when you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, and depressed. Don't suffer in silence. There are so many pot holders out there, just waiting to help you get through your problems. The ultimate problem solver is only a prayer away. "Just call Him."